Tuesday, March 24, 2009

The oxymoron supreme- low fat ice cream!

It's been heating up a little around here, so I've switched my dessert preferences from baked goods to ice cream. Now, if you're anything like me, you cannot eat the suggested serving of a 1/2 cup of ice cream. I mean, really? The fuck? You think I'm going to eat- wait, you aren't serious. Oh my God, you're serious. Well, um, no. I need more like 2 cups of ice cream. And sometimes a second bowl. I have no self control (enter nutritionist.)

So the solution is not to eat less ice cream. The solution is to eat ice cream that doesn't make you fat! But since there is no such thing, ice cream that won't make you fat as fast is the solution. Low fat ice cream! Or sherbert, or sorbet if you wanna be pretentious.

Low fat ice cream is another one of those 'deal breaker' foods that people who hate diet food will generally refuse to eat on principle (see also, diet soda.) In my mind, ice cream is ice cream and is usually delicious regardless of fat content. But for those of you who disbelieve, I have made the sacrifice to sample several different kinds of low fat ice cream and review two of them.

Private Selection Premium Light Ice Cream: Peanut Butter Passion

This comes to us from Kroger's off-brand label. I am a fan of anything generic because, as a philistine with no discerning palate, I genuinely cannot taste the difference. And I especially like the generic ice cream because ice cream is expensive as hell. Why is that? Especially Edy's. Unless it has gold chunks in it, there's no way in hell I'm paying five dollars for a tub of dessert.

Anywho, on to the review. There are big ole chunks of peanut butter cup in this- not just the cheap peanut butter cup dust that most ice creams have. There is also a stripe of inexplicably gooey peanut butter twisting throughout it. I find that any ice cream that reports having chunks of something rarely has enough for me, so I will not hold that against this ice cream, but will simply comment that I wished, as I always do, for more chunks. I should probably just buy my lazy self some Reese's if I want something to bite into so bad.

Maybe it's because I've eaten low fat ice cream for so long, but I couldn't tell any difference between this and other kinds of ice cream. It tasted like, well, ice cream, and ice cream is delicious, thus this was delicious. Sweet and cold and peanut buttery. I recommend it.

Private Selection Premium Light Ice Cream in Peanut Butter Passion has 150 calories per 1/2 cup serving, 45 from fat.

Kroger Deluxe Reduced Fat Ice Cream: Rocky Road

Rocky Road is pretty much the perfect flavor, if you ask me. Chocolate with almonds and marshmallows? Delicion. The problem with marshmallows, though, is that I think you have to put them in the ice cream before it is packaged. If you go to some place like Cold Stone Creamery, their marshmallows will inevitably be hard as rocks and chip your tooth. Marshmallows are delicious no matter what, but still. I like the way my mouth looks with all its teeth.

Mm-mm! Doesn't that picture look delicious? Unforch, that is not what you will find inside your box of Kroger Deluxe. I didn't pick this ice cream; my dad did. His heart was in the right place. It's made with Splenda, which I usually cannot tell from real sugar (or at least I've trained my taste buds not to care.) Yet in this case I definitely could. It almost tasted like it was made with Equal or Sweet 'n Low. Also, way to skimp on the marshmallows. I think they in fact used marshmallow creme and not even real marshmallows! Imposter! And not many almonds here. Also, I prefer my chocolate base to be a little darker than the mocha-ish color presented here. However, hey, it's ice cream, I'll still eat it. But you won't be fooling your kids/friends/neighbors/mistress into thinking this is regular ice cream if they usually avoid low fat crap. Best to keep it to yourself.

Kroger Deluxe Reduced Fat Ice Cream in Rocky Road has 120 calories per 1/2 cup serving, 40 from fat.

That's all! Comment and tell me how much ice cream you usually eat in one sitting!

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